Editor's Note: I need to make a quick comment on this communication from Maren. She references a letter I sent telling her how proud I was of her and that I could see profound changes in her. She starts out arguing, for most of the letter, that she hasn't changed much and is not a very good missionary. She then ends by disproving all she said before this. All I could do was laugh. How little we see the changes the spirit works on us. How terribly proud I am of her! -- Ty
OK, so my dad wrote something interesting last week: "I was proud ... (of) your desire to just get in and do the work. That is a change in you that I'm very proud to hear about. In fact, I'm just proud of all the changes that have happened to you and the maturity and commitment I can see in your life."
Ok, to be honest, I try to sound pretty suave and self controlled in my letters. Not that I'm dishonest, I just leave out the most annoying details.
I'm not that great of a missionary. I hate waking up at 6:30 AM, and I don't, if I haven't slept well. I struggle to force myself to study the language every day, and our companionship studies are not very focused at all - we talk about the work most of the time, but rarely what we planned to talk about. When we do, our conversations are kind of dry.
And I really do not like knocking. We plan it out, modify our approach, but when the moment comes to actually get out of the car and knock, I feel absolutely sick. I have to pray every single time for the help to make that simple act of will to just get out of the car and do it. We see miracles, and it's not actually that bad once we get started, but I feel awful at the start of every session. if I don't watch myself, I'll make stupid excuses not to do it, or to end early, or whatever. And when it gets down to 7:00 in the evening, I really struggle to keep going, because, really, no one wants you on their porch at 7 PM. (BTW, I'm not sure how or why, but by 4:30 PM, it's fully dark out here.)
Most of the time, I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a companion, I wouldn't get much done. I know... and I'm working on it, and I've improved somewhat, but I'm still pretty much the lazy me I was before. Ok, maybe not the same lazy me: a wiser, more experienced, but still lazy me.
Don't get me wrong: I am working hard, but I could be working a whole lot harder, and every day I try a little more to reach that level, but I'm nowhere close.
Take for example, this week: we went and did what we call shovel-tracting. You go knocking, but while one of you knocks the door, the other one shovels the walks of the people. Surprising enough, we get a lot of mixed reactions (you'd be surprised how angry people can get when you shovel their walks: "Why are you shoveling my walk?!? Don't do that!! My Husband can do it!!") Well we came back, and we found that someone had quite purposefully buried our car, and had carefully packed snow around all the wheels. My first reaction: anger, sadness, disappointment. Well, my companion just laughs. She thinks it hilarious. well, I start to smile, but I still feel kind of bad. She takes a few pictures, and we dig ourselves out. Reminded me of the part in Stranger in a Strange Land when Michael first discovers a sense of humor - and how he explains, that laughter is there for those upsetting moments - because when things go wrong, sometimes you just have to laugh, because otherwise, things are just too tragic, and we'd never survive.
[endrant]
We're doing well. We had 4 new investigators this week. Exciting as well is the fact that a lot of the investigators who were given to the elders are also shaping up. And Araceli Saldana, our most recent convert, got over her nerves enough to give her testimony (she's unbearably shy). And she went to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. We're feeling really good this week. We know that miracles are happening. The people who came to church just showed up out of the blue. We're finding people left and right, and while many of them are going to the English program, we feel good about it.
For example, we were knocking some apartments, and we get this girl who's out on her won for the first time. She doesn't speak any kind of Spanish, but we're here, and the sisters aren't, so we go and give her a L1. She asks great questions, and even though her family is American Moorish (Muslim - and just that morning I had the section on teaching to people with a non-Christian background - not planned, it had just caught my eye) she is wide open. She asks about priesthood authority, prophets, obedience to the law of chastity, and so many other things. It's so great, and we commit her to be baptized the end of January. Well, imagine that call to the English sisters:
"How do you guys feel about the end of January?"
"Huh? Why, do you guys have a baptism then?"
"Nope, YOU do."
Miracles happen. And we're happy to be part of them any way we can.
Love you all, and hope that things are amazing for you.
Hermana Maren Jones
PS. The Christmas List:
- 1 box Pocky, and one dark chocolate (orange, raspberry, whatever you feel is good. I'll split it with my companion.) Any more candy than this will simply be given away. (nuts will be gladly accepted.)
- 1 hat (use own judgment. Red or black beret suggested)
- The Statedler pencil I requested last year (I've forgotten the model number to my sadness. I know it was a 20XX, the Xs being unknown numbers. It was noted in a snail-mail, not an e-mail, otherwise I'd have record of it.)
- Scarves, gloves, socks, not really suggested. I have a lot.
- Thigh-high nylons, and maybe some thigh-high tights, socks, leggings, whatever, too.
- Music, with judgment (ask to see someone's copy of the missionary handbook.)
- Pictures welcome, as is money, although at this point, I'd rather that all money goes into my savings account.
- Referrals: not necessarily to me, but I would consider it a great gift for you to give the missionaries someone to teach. Even better if you let the missionaries teach them in your homes.
- Flannel board: a lot of investigators we have right now can't read, so we need a portable way to teach them. Stories I'd like Include: The First Vision, Lehi leaves Jerusalem, Noah and the ark, the birth and death of Christ, Moses and the 10 commandments. Also, It'd be nice if I could get a plan of salvation diagram.
